Self-taught

I decided to teach myself to meditate. I could use a little more calm in my life. A way to handle stresses better. Also, benefits I didn’t know about, it’s supposed to help me remember things AND focus better. Who doesn’t want that?

All of those pros will come in handy, especially now. I’m starting to wind down my graduate student career. Trying to finish up my last scientific article for publication. Starting to read for (then write) my thesis. Starting to look for postdoctoral positions. Starting to prepare for oral presentations of my work (for my defense and interviews). It’s positively nerve wracking.

I have a book that’s guiding me through an 8-week program. Every week is a different technique. With the technique I’m at now, I’m supposed to just listen. Listen to whatever sounds are around me. Don’t judge them (e.g. GOD, that’s an annoying sound) and just let them happen. Do you have any idea how hard that is to do? Especially when, for reasons beyond me, exactly at the time of my meditation period there are very few sounds? And the one’s there are, are horribly boring, like the furnace, or the fridge. You’d be surprised at the random things your mind finds to fill the void.

But I do think that it is starting to help. My take-home message from the book is that it teaches to you brush things off and let things go – not hold things in and stew until you blow your top (or whatever your equivalent is). Seems easy enough, in theory. But it sure is a hard habit to break.

Wish me luck with the rest of my program.