Sunday, August 13, 2006

2006: Year of the Ex

This has been an… interesting… year so far, in terms of relationships.

The groundwork was actually laid at Christmas time 2005 with the orchestrated run-in (thanks, Stepmom) with my ex, B, who had been my long-distance college boyfriend. We didn’t have a good break-up, harsh words were exchanged, and though there were some potentially reconciliatory phone calls afterward we parted on uncertain bad terms. Of course, if you talk to us separately about it, you get two different versions of the story. I chose to focus on the harsh words when remembering the break-up. He chose to focus on the potentially reconciliatory phone calls. Either way, here we were 5 years later, awkwardly chatting. After finding out that neither of us was pissed at the other any more, we had some decent conversation and catching up. We even exchanged email addresses.

Enter 2006 and to my surprise, B actually emailed me. We’ve been exchanging update emails every 1-2 months now. We’ve sufficiently felt each other out to be sure of the other’s intentions and are rebuilding a sort of casual long-distance friendship, of sorts. I know, kinda weird, and believe you me, I wasn’t expecting it. Despite the bad break-up he’s a decent guy – he had to be on some level or we wouldn’t have dated in the first place. He’s got a good sense of humor and I find myself laughing out loud at most of his emails. He also has honed the skill of “keep your chin up” speech giving. I wish him and his fiancé the best on their upcoming nuptials.

New Year’s Day 2006 ushered in the bittersweet end of a relationship with J. We’d lived together a little over 2 years. J and I were both attending grad school here in Cleveland and, being older, he graduated in 2005. He then moved to AL to start his postdoc. I know, the prospect of another long distance relationship didn’t bode well for me, either. Those last 6 months or so we’d both noticed a change. Less boyfriend/girlfriend and more friends/roommates. J had the guts to actually broach the subject and I’m glad that he did. Turns out we were on the same page about the relationship and whole-heartedly agreed to remain friends.

I can hear you scoffing through the internet, but I’m proud to report that we have maintained the friendship. J’s a decent guy and he completely understands the horrors of graduate school. I don’t know what I’d do without him and his encouragement.

I could accept these two incidents of maintaining a friendship with an ex as coincidence - that was just the way things were shaking down. But a third? Now things are getting weird.

Last week I received an email from C, my first serious high school boyfriend. We haven’t spoken to each other in… I don’t even know how long. It has to be, at the very least, well over 7 or 8 years. And if I remember right, it was a rather brief, random run-in on the street in my hometown.

Similar story: C was older, so he graduated from high school first and moved on to college. Long-distance didn’t suit us well, so we broke up (again, a relatively painful process for both of us at the time). C’s mom was in the habit of keeping in touch with C’s ex’s (the one’s she liked, thank you very much). After C and I broke up, my parents continued to exchange Christmas cards with C’s parents.

C’s mom must have shared with him that around Christmas time I was hoping to graduate from grad school in the summer. Out of the blue C decided to email me a “Congratulations.” I had to reply with a “My plans didn’t turn out, but thanks anyway, and by the way, how the hell are you?” Since then we’ve been exchanging emails and catching up a bit. He definitely hasn’t lost his sense of humor and I’m totally jealous that he’s bought a house.

2006 is only about half over so I wonder if any other exes will come out of the woodwork this year. I’d decided quite a while ago not to attend my 10-year high school reunion (it’s this coming weekend, for those who are interested) so I think that ruins some of my chances, but we’ll see. They seem to be seeking me out, and in this age of cyber-stalking, uh, I mean, “looking up people online,” it’s not too hard to track me down (apparently).


Blogger dressagemom said...

Just be glad that you don't loathe your ex and happen to see him all the time. I'm sure you know what I'm talking about...

7:32 AM  
Blogger Lil Kate said...

How can I forget?

I wasn't even married to him and I don't like him.

>:P Yech!

Yes, seems I'm pretty lucky that all of my exes live in different staes. ;) Oh, and that we all are civil to each other - that helps, too.

7:55 AM  
Blogger Chris B. said...

To say you are easy to track down belittles my professional stuff-finding skills.

They are mad, those skillz I got.

10:31 PM  
Blogger Lil Kate said...

Would you say you've got skillz to pay the billz?

5:17 AM  
Blogger Chris B. said...

The competence to make remittance? The backbone for a home loan?

Sister, I got wayz to fund 401kayz.

11:02 AM  

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