Apparently I break things
It is evident that I am not allowed to own any new electronics. I’ve managed to break my new external hard drive AND my new-to-me MP3 player. The hard drive has to be shipped back to the company, but the MP3 player just needs some carefully positioned tape to hold the headphones jack at just the right angle so it doesn’t sound like I’m listening to my music from the bottom of a tinny well. Annoying, but nothing I can’t live with.
When my hard drive started to act wonky I called the help number. Seeing as how it’s really not all that complicated to use, I can’t say I was expecting a lot of fancy technical know-how from the technician, but I did expect a little more than “try turning it off and then back on again” or “try it on a different computer.” These were things I had already tried on my own. When none of these, or different variations of these tricks worked, she says “You must of have broken it.”
Um, yeah, apparently.
But I didn’t do it on purpose!
So what now, Hard Drive Guru?
“Well, since you’re still under warranty, we can replace it, but you have to send us the *broken* one.” Alright, fine, can do, but can we lose the condescending tone? It’s not like I’m personally putting you out on this one.
She tells me I’ll be getting an email on how to properly ship it back to the company. If I can manage to accomplish this feat, they will send me a new one. Sounds easy enough.
But no.
Have you seen the instructions for something like this? You’d think the hard drive were made of human embryos encrusted in diamonds. I have to have it in a Static Shield bag (of which I had to go out and buy a pack of 10 – which I think portends I may have to go through this process 9 more times). I have to have it safely nestled in 2 inches of solid foam (no styrofoam peanuts allowed!) or 3 inches of bubble wrap, inside a corrugated cardboard box. And this corrugated cardboard box must have my special number clearly written on 3 sides. Why not all 6? I wonder if I put it on all 6 sides if they’d be pissed…
If anything fails to meet their shipping standards, they will promptly ship it back to me. I’m not sure how that helps. Maybe to give me another shot to properly packaging it up. Who knows.
Anyway, I need more bubble wrap.
When my hard drive started to act wonky I called the help number. Seeing as how it’s really not all that complicated to use, I can’t say I was expecting a lot of fancy technical know-how from the technician, but I did expect a little more than “try turning it off and then back on again” or “try it on a different computer.” These were things I had already tried on my own. When none of these, or different variations of these tricks worked, she says “You must of have broken it.”
Um, yeah, apparently.
But I didn’t do it on purpose!
So what now, Hard Drive Guru?
“Well, since you’re still under warranty, we can replace it, but you have to send us the *broken* one.” Alright, fine, can do, but can we lose the condescending tone? It’s not like I’m personally putting you out on this one.
She tells me I’ll be getting an email on how to properly ship it back to the company. If I can manage to accomplish this feat, they will send me a new one. Sounds easy enough.
But no.
Have you seen the instructions for something like this? You’d think the hard drive were made of human embryos encrusted in diamonds. I have to have it in a Static Shield bag (of which I had to go out and buy a pack of 10 – which I think portends I may have to go through this process 9 more times). I have to have it safely nestled in 2 inches of solid foam (no styrofoam peanuts allowed!) or 3 inches of bubble wrap, inside a corrugated cardboard box. And this corrugated cardboard box must have my special number clearly written on 3 sides. Why not all 6? I wonder if I put it on all 6 sides if they’d be pissed…
If anything fails to meet their shipping standards, they will promptly ship it back to me. I’m not sure how that helps. Maybe to give me another shot to properly packaging it up. Who knows.
Anyway, I need more bubble wrap.
posted by Lil Kate at 12:36 PM
4 Comments:
I have spare bubble wrap for you, but I'm not sure how to package it for shipping.
One thing I can tell you is that our diamond encrusted human embryos do not require such complicated shipping. Either we freeze them and ship them in a big tank of liquid nitrogen (no bubble wrap or foam required) or we shoot 'em into a uterus and let the woman carry them around for nine months. In either case we don't get them back for "repacking".
Chris - Might I suggest 2 inches of solid foam?
DM - I'd LOVE to ship my HD in a vat of LN2, and I'd want to be there when they opened it. I wonder what they'd think if I could deliver via uterus...
Who would volunteer for that?! OUCH!
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