Now God's just messing with my head

Yesterday I received the following email from (gasp!) the professor at the NIH:

“Kate, I assume by now that you have accepted the other postdoctoral fellowship position. However, I was just informed that one of the people in the lab is leaving to pursue a job that will get him the coveted H1 visa and thought I would check your availability one more time. Hope all is well, Dr. S”

My first instinct was to fire off a quick “Yes, as a matter of fact I DID accept another position. Thanks for asking.”

L & R stopped me (physically pulled my hands away from the keyboard) saying “Are you CRAZY?!”

Um, yes. But what does that have to do with anything?

They pointed out that I had really liked that lab, really liked the research, the pay and the atmosphere of a government lab. They reminded me that I have not signed anything committing myself to the Mayo Clinic.

I countered with “But she *screwed me over* and who’s to say she wouldn’t do it again?” I’ll bet she sent this same email out to 5 other kids that she interviewed and she’s just waiting to see who bites first. Besides, though I have not officially signed anything for the Mayo Clinic, I verbally committed. The paperwork has already been filled out (and will be filed pending receipt of rec letters from my committee members and official documentation of my graduation). I just can’t bring myself to be the asshole who calls up Dr. A to say “Yeah, nevermind. Something better came up.” I can’t do it. Makes me feel dirty – and hypocrital.

So I pleasantly declined Dr. S’s offer and wished her the best of luck in finding a new lab member.

And I felt good doing it.